I feel a little embarrassed writing this, me, Jonathan Nolan, producer of Starwalkers, director of Sweet Cyanide and creator of some of the best animated horror on YouTube, having to admit that I broke the law, scammed friends, defrauded associates and generally let myself and others down.
I know, you are reeling in disbelief at this shock news, but let me explain myself. Firstly I suppose you are asking yourselves why I am admitting this, when Starwalker is going so well, new finance in place and all the old school of pessimists kicked out (hullo, Robert Brand!). There must be thousands more dollars I can scam out of the SMS entry system, so why am I telling the truth now?
Well, I have to give some background for this to make sense. As some of you will know I have had long-term mental health issues which, combined with my drink and crack cocaine problem, have left it very very hard for me to tell truth from lies, fact from my fiction - look at my thinking I could get $42 million from a small web-community, www.zgeek.com, by persuading a weak willed colleague to bring a frivolous lawsuit against them. I truly expected to get this money, even though lawyers said there was no case to answer, yet I carried on with this lost cause which has just been won in court by Zgeek.
This type of mental illness has been a scourge for most of my life, from getting me disbarred as a lawyer for stealing from clients accounts to my latest wheeze of getting an infatuated female friend to try scamming zgeek yet again, another exploit that I now see is doomed to failure.
So I have started attending AA and NA meetings, have got myself a sponsor and am working the 12 Steps. What a liberating experience it is! I have admitted my powerlessness over my addictions, have given up power over my addictions to God and am now ready to make a searching and fearless moral inventory of my life, thus allowing me to make amends to the people I have damaged.
This is why I have admitted my culpability in the Starwalkers fraud, this is why I have apologised to all I harmed at Zgeek and this is why I have asked my wife to forgive my many trespasses upon our married life. I have even asked the men I sullied our marriage bed with to forgive me.
I will be laying out a detailed list of my many moral and legal failures and will be asking many many people to forgive me, in the name of Our Lord.
I hope you will join me in my voyage of discovery into my soul and I hope you will forgive me my many many mistakes.
More to follow.
PLEASE NOTE: I have had to turn off comments. Not for any particular reason but just because it fulfils my Fascist fantasies and helps with my erectile dysfunction.
